Fly Again, Hero

It's been almost 2 years since I've updated my livejournal. Wowzers, man. Well, a lot happened in those 2 years. A lot also didn't happen. It's amazing how the younger you are, the more shit happens to you but the older you get, 2 years can pass and only 1 or 2 major things happen in between then and now. Life is weird.

I read my last post, just to see what was the last thing that happened between then and now and what stands out the most is obviously my sister losing her unborn child. Well, that was a heartbreaking moment but I'm happy to say she got pregnant again early 2015 and her son just turned 1 year old like, yesterday! So that's good, I'm so in love with the little roast ham (that's what I call him haha)

Also, I decided to kick my ass in gear and finally paid off my shitty 2k debt to a for profit art school (lol what was I thinking at 18?) and I'm finally back in school, as of January 2016! Inspired by my independent study with the pharmacy technician exam, I decided to go to school for something medical related. So I'm in school for Phlebotomy! it's pretty fun so far, even if it's just general medical classes but I'm getting A's on all my quizzes and tests so far!

I'm the happiest I've been in years actually. Yeah my mom is still suffering with kidney failure (that was something from my last post as well) but other than that, life has been good. Oh, and I lost like 40lbs that's crazy but ehhhh whatever. That wasn't an overnight thing, that took a while haha

2 years of life summed up in a few lines of text. That's just dumb.

It's been a while; what has happened since Oct.?

A lot of sad shit, super super sad shit.

In December, a few days before New Years, my sister lost her baby. I'm fucking broken up over it because I'm feeling so hard for my sister right now. I can't even perceive what she's going through and all I can do is be there for her. She's a little better each day but I know it still hurts; will hurt for the rest of her life. She doesn't deserve this, man.

Then, a little over a month ago, my mom had to start dialysis, because diabetes II got to her kidneys. They are still functional but no where near able to work on their own. I know she feels a lot of guilt for letting her disease go this far unchecked but I told her she was really too busy these past couple of years, being a good hard working single mother without dad in the picture. Now it's time for her to take care of herself.

But on the other side of things, still studying for my pharmacy technician exam. Obviously dropped off there for a while because I was busy being super sad, but I'm still in it. It's a ton of information to memorize, but at least I find it interesting, so that's making it easier.

Also, I am on the radio! If you are in the Atlanta area on Thursdays at 6pm, you should totally tune it to 91.1FM

I'm DJ Pookie (just listen out for the weird girl going off on tangents, that's me haha)

Long time no post; what's happened in almost a year?

Feb.:got my tickets to see The Dear Hunter in concert! Also, it was my first concert!
Mar: SAW THE DEAR HUNTER IN CONCERT; omg Casey you look so beautiful in the flesh!
Apr: Eh, turned 25? yaaay T_T
May: when work got really shitty and decided that after research, going to seriously go at this Pharmacy Tech thing
Jun: started working out again because I got super sorry and lazy for a long a time
Jul: work got even shittier; working out and doing a little self study on my own with the pharmacy thing (shit's starting to stick and actually getting questions right yaay!)
Aug: Didn't go to Dragon Con, because depressed because DUMBASS 18 YEAR OLD SISTER GETS PREGNANT BY SORRY PIECE OF SHIT YAAAAAAAY. They say they are moving out...but no lol I doubt it. fucking idiot >_> last year the family all asked if she wanted birth control after the other pregnancy scare; she said no. Little did we know, that was when we should have started stuffing birth control in her fucking food!
Sept: Had fun at AWA until I noticed I've been being stalked by the same guy at only anime cons since 2011! Currently getting evidence together in case I have to do police shit! T_T Long story short: he dated a friend of mine and they had a messy break up and I guess he's obviously not mentally stable but I guess butthurt over a break up that happened 3 years ago? ughh fml also got my Janelle Monae tickets for NOV. Let's if my asshole managers will even give me the time off to go! probably not! also lost 20lbs yaaaaay! it's tough though; life is rough rn and stress runs high
Oct: Just found out that the board that runs the PTCE (the cert. exam for pharmacy technicians) just updated it's standards making it mandatory that any new comers that want to sit for the exam have to complete a course at an accredited school by 2020. So I'm at a cross roads:

1. continue my self study and take the test because I won't fall under the schooling requirement for the next 7 years

2. just get the schooling over with; which would be stressful with a full time job (I work over night so I would have to go to day shift where I would not make nearly as much money and then I'll have school stress on top of racing to work everyday! yaay!)

I'm leaning towards continuing self study, work in the field for a few years, then go to school because not only will school be less stressful then (because I will know everything from working in the field) but also more affordable? but the course is only 3 grand so I mean, I could pay that out of pocket no biggie.

I would immediately go the schooling route if that meant I would immediately qualify for jobs straight out of school but even people that went to school are having a hard time finding jobs so I would rather have a hard time, no experience, not 3 grand in the hole than no experience, 3 grand in the hole.

Right now I'm in a good position; even though I discovered HR's trick at my job of telling me I could totally be a pharmacy tech right now noooo I don't have to be certified! I called bullshit on that and of course, I'm on the pharmacy technician forums and someone who started their job before being certified has to wait until their yearly anniversary to get their raise for being certified; so basically they have an employee who is working for less pay than they are worth! LOLOL nah I'll get certified and then apply. Sneaky, sneaky...

They (HR) did say the pharmacist may be able to to work with me, because they are looking specifically for people with experience (but who isn't, these days...) and I have none but since I'm already in the company it would be easier to just move me up. So I'm just going to stay where I am, continue to study on my own, and try and ace this test! And as for the baby thing...stress on top of stress, thanks little sis! /sarcasm

And if people care, I'm on tumblr a lot more these days; princess_kirae is my name over there; I just feel LJ is still good for long personal rants like this; even if no one's reading, it feels good to get it out. That's how I survived high school, after all. (I still have every journal entry I made through high school WOW I WAS FUCKING STUPID WOW I'M STILL FUCKING STUPID)

Been a while since I've posted

The holidays were cool I guess (had to work christmas night, new years eve and thanksgiving night WTF)
I got a digital camera/video recorder from my mom so soon I'll start my nail polish blog (or post here, whatever) and potential youtube channel (It's a really stupid idea for one too, probably won't get any views)

I'm studying to take the PTCB (pharmacy technician cert.) hopefully by the end of the year. At first I was only doing it because my mom and grandma are in medical careers and it would be easy for me to land my first job for experience (through my retail job) and since I have 5+ year connections at 2 hospitals, I would be able to work in a hospital with little trouble, just patience but after starting the studying (what a horribly long sentence lol)

WOW I KIND OF LIKE THIS

It's like blending my dream job (Librarian) with pills and algebra wtf

I could see myself doing this for a while; a lot of memorization so it's going to take awhile, but really, what am I doing with my life? NOTHING. Well, saving a good amount for a good car, buying nail polish and drinking beer with my mom on weekends hehehe and working. Also planning a trip to Vegas omg I want to get drunk and stare at neon lights XD

So last week I was yet again, a victim of identity theft WHAT THE HELL. If this shit happens while my tax return is sitting in my account I will piss lava in anger

THE RUNDOWN: Last Wednesday I get a call from my bank that some asshat in New York spent (and succeeded, because, keep reading) $300 at a toys r us and $9 at subway (that was an exhausting thieving shopping trip, I'm hungry). I guess they are ringing things up credit and that's how they are getting away with it. It's also a small bank and I think that has something to do with it as well.

I only buy from Amazon and through paypal (etsy, transdesign, etc) and shop at stores like Walmart etc. I only take money out of atm's I trust so I don't see how these fuckers are getting my info! The bank froze my account, told me to destroy my card, look the thefty purchases off my account and sent me a new card.

If you aren't a Winchester using credit card fraud to kill demons you shouldn't be using credit card fraud ahaha

There was more stuff, family stuff I'll have to post about that later. Until next time~

what a terrible title lol

my nails are getting pretty long; it's getting really weird to type with them but I want to go looooooooonger haha

hmm, so life right now? FUCKING STRESSFUL

My mom just got out of the hospital; she wasn't feeling well so she decided to go to the hospital and NO ONE TOLD ME until that afternoon (she went at 5am I didn't know until fucking 1-2pm T_____________T REALLY) she's fine but has a 30 percent blockage in an artery; WILL SHE GET FIT WITH ME probably not

My bipolar/druggie sister is living back with us now; fuck so annoying; It's just so hard to try and help someone who obviously doesn't want help, just wants you to give her what she needs to hurt herself more. You can't change until you want to, and I guess she just doesn't want to yet.

I'm just pretty much avoiding everyone else and hiding out in my room lol I did want to go see Looper though but I'm on a budget so I don't want to go out and see a movie because I'll probably end up buying nail polish which I NEED TO STOP DOING; just bought 2 over the course of a week *sigh*; I'm probably at a little over 150 now 150 NAIL POLISHES THAT'S TOO MUCH RIGHT?!??! aw well new hobbies and all that ok so I've had this hobby since February

Started working out again; I gained a bit on my 3 month hiatus so back in action; 30 day shred ftw! It's actually great working out now; whenever I smell weed or hear my sister's abusive fiancée I just work out and relax. I shouldn't have to deal with this but oh well. Once I get my car my next step will be to GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE; even though the hospital scare made me worry; if I leave will my mom be ok without me?

ah well it will figure itself out hopefully.

well that's it; just a check in; about to stop molesting the semi colon and go paint my nails~

It's getting longer and longer between posts; sorry about that; life is getting crazier and crazier.

larped for the first time last month

It was at once amazing and horrible. I sweated and ran from bugs all weekend but it was fun dressing up and running in the woods, screaming at 3am. I was a monster/enemy all weekend and that was cool. I reallly don't want a character though; seems BORING lol

drove on the highway in traffic!

It was insane!!! it's crazy though and I did run a red MY BAD ;A;

turns out my dad bought me a dud car

Did he really think he would get a good car for $800? Ugh, I told him I had $1000; $1800 would have bought me a neat car, was he not thinking? So now i'm saving up $1500-$2000 for a downpayment on a nice, safe car. Will hopefully have one by Febuary.

welcome new fandoms into the fold aka WATCH THIS SHIT

White Collar (stats: 4 seasons so far) so wonderful! If you like mild sub dom in ur shows please watch! Also super awesome lady chars too! Plus, every episode you get to drown in the prettiest eyes EVER.

Sherlock (stats: 2 seasons so far) Benedict Cumberbatch need I say more? Also some sub dom shit in here too (note: not even a sub or dom, just really like watching these relationships play out. ) Also, when a show's best ship is het, you know you need to watch it.

Suits (stats: 2 seasons so far) watch some lawyers cute-it-up all day erry day and some great acting and POWERFUL BLACK FEMALE CHAR UP IN THIS also when I watch a show and all I ship are het pairings you know you need to watch this asap!

I also started Regular Show and Xena so let's see where that goes. basically been drowning in fandom lately; I may not be going to Dragon Con (no friends want to go; not a single Supernatural actor is there!) So this will have to do.

But will be at AWA, mochi-ing it up with my bros and not spending too much, haha.

even though I've been practicing a year now since I've had my lessons
I'm still so nervous!
I just really want it to be thursday so at least this will have passed! I'm so damn nervous!

But I have a car now and I would really like to be driving it
even if I do fail I'll just try again!
But I don't want to fail :( I just want to pass!

Pray for me, July 11th, 9:40am I just want to get this over with!

HELLO LIVEJOURNAL
I'ts been a while
Sipping some wine, listening to some Big Bang, fangirling over "gtop" being a thing...

Yes...that LIFE thing...hmm, well...

I'm currently at 14lbs lost! :OOOO flipping outtttt! This has seriously been a life-changing thing for me; I can't even perceive going back to the way things were (190) I'm now sitting at 175-176; It's a nice start but I really do want to keep going; goal weight will be 125-130 and then I want to start weight lifting and get to middle 130's but gain back all muscle!

Other than weight loss shit uhhhh what else...still stressing over the driving test SIGH I've gone through like 3 people with cars to take me to get it but I think I'll just go back to my driving instructor like he sugguested, lol! But after that, the biggest challenge is DO I GET A CAR NOTE or MOVE OUT or COLLEGE?

Honestly, with the way the economy is now I just can't see myself sitting in a classroom paying to learn useless shit; and all those short programs are no good; oversaturrating the market with the laziest fuckers...also the fact that I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO at 24...goodness. Unlike normal kids, my childhood was spent stressing over my shitty family life, I didn't have time to dream about what I was going to be when I grow up so I'm doing all that right now STRESSFUL

OR CAR NOTE which 1) I will have a car...so that's awesome 2) another bill but I mean...fuck, I don't know...

MOVE OUT: sounds good; but really, right now? and the only people I know that I would like to move out with are now 1) pregnant and 2) remind me of Helen from Bridesmaids lol so that's a no go

and then's there's always that nice dream of taking my crafting to the next level...which would be a lot easier done with a car...

IN THE END, It's a choice only I can make and whatever I decide it's not like it's going to be the be all end all of my future (except the college thing; loans and whatnot could potentially fuck up my life for years to come...)

SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHHHHHHHH

It will be figured out soon...probably the car though, haha

BACK THE WINE...getting hard to type oh oh oh...

WANT TO SEE SOME NAIL DESIGNS???

This is one from when I first kind of started taking care of my nails; cuticles don't look that hot and polish application is still kind of MEHHHHH



And this is how my nails look currently~ the cuticles look a lot better and polish application is improving~



One day...beautiful breath taking polish application and perfect cuticles...so jelly of all the girls on MUA you just don't know NEW NAILS TAG; I should be posting my nail stamping somewhere lol

It is getting really bad with the polish addiction I'm already at 50+ polishes...like just ordered another China Glaze...ahahaha, oh boy...

OFF TO DRINK MORE WINE watch some Kassem, be a loser...seeing Snow White and the Huntsman SATURDAY FLIFPPING OUTTTTTT

Still around, LJ
Life has been nice lately; had an epiphany about my life
lost 6lbs
STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL FOR
Seriously, all my problems right now stem from this
ah well that's a good thing I guess; could be worse
first world problems and all that tripe

MOMOCON 2012
errrr who's going?
I really want to go to fires of brazil and go dranking at one of the barrrrs I don't care I just want some dranks
SERIOUSLY JUST SIT WITH US WE CRAZY BLACK CHICKS KINDA AWKWARD BUT WE'LL BE DRUNK SO THAT'S A PLUS